When we hear the word intelligence our first instinct is to think of someone's critical thinking skills, IQ level, or cognitive ability. However, emotional intelligence is a type of intelligence that is often overlooked. Emotional intelligence is defined by "the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically". Differing from cognitive intelligence, we have a small percentage of our emotional intelligence (around 10%) predetermined genetically. This gives us the ability to learn behaviors and strategies for increasing emotional intelligence.
INCREASING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
1. Practice Apologizing
If you find yourself struggling to accept your faults in situations, practice apologizing. At first you may be reluctant, however, over time it will become easier to see from the other perspective. Take precaution to not apologize too much as people will see this as allowing yourself to be a "punching bag" and not confident.
2. Reflect on past situations/behaviors
Find moments to look back at life and see how things could've gone better if you would have acted differently and reflect on them. Look back at things that have steered you into becoming the person you are today. Learning things the hard way isn't the easiest, but it is the most beneficial for the future self.
3. Look outwards with selflessness and patience
While focusing inward and doing self-care is healthy, always focusing on you can make it harder to see things from other perspectives. Balance confidence with humility when interacting with others. Share without an expectation that you'll get anything back.
4. Self check-ins/Mindfulness
Take time to ask yourself these questions: How do I feel today? When have I felt this way before? What physical sensations am I having at this moment? What am I perceiving through my other senses? What do I think about what's happening? You may keep a journal to record these answers in (I personally find this to be helpful).
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