Charles Horton Cooley, an American sociologist created the term "the looking glass self" as a concept that explains the tendency for one to understand oneself through the perception which others may hold of them.
The looking-glass self contains three core steps: how you imagine yourself to be perceived by others, how you perceive the judgement of others based off of how you imagine you are being perceived, and finally how you think you are being perceived by others based off of their past judgements of yourself.
The looking-glass self is theorized to be important in the development of one's sense of identity because of how one acts and views oneself is heavily dependent on how they believe they are being perceived by others. The interactions we have with others become internalized into how one perceives themselves and are reflected onto their self-identity.
HOW DOES THE LOOKING-GLASS SELF RELATE TO KINDNESS?
Based off of the knowledge that interactions with others are internalized into how we perceive ourselves we can come to the conclusion that kind interactions with others can be helpful to building-up others.
Instead of interacting with people in negative or hurtful ways we all should make the conscious decision to become more aware of how we interact with others and choose to interact in ways that are positive and beneficial. Those who receive positive feedback from others will grow into having a positive self-image and those who receive negative feedback will have a negative self-image.
For example, if you are upset with a loved one you should make the conscious decision to take a moment to think of a way to communicate with them in a positive way that can be beneficial to your relationship instead of damaging.
Here is a more in-depth video created by Khan Academy:
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